choosing the perfect job


Honestly, it's nothing but a blessing that we some of us have the freedom to choose our jobs. But we struggle with the permanence of our choice anyway. Me, I've always been too ambitious for my own good. Or maybe too much of a dreamer.

The problem is that I want to try my hand at everything. I want to taste from every dish, play all four colours on a Uno card to see where each will lead me. It is that I care too much about everything and don't limit myself to some things.

One day I'm a to-be geneticist, the next a doctor, then engineer - entrepreneur - political adviser. It's a relentless wheel that is without purpose. I have no real reason to want to be any of those things.

I used to envy those who were passionate about just one thing, a specialist in one area. But I'm starting to question the merits of that, too, and whether they are really all that different from me. After all, risk is just as universal as talent.

Another thing I used to think was that personality types and tests would help me a lot. Every day for the past three years of my life, I've been an INTJ. You know, solitary behind-the-scenes guy, running the analysis? But I can't even use that anymore, because every week I keep getting damn different results. Because I don't even know who I am, much less who I want to be.

The worry is that even if we choose, we won't be the same person in ten years' time.

So maybe the best thing we can do is to have a direction. A compass needs to know where to point, even if it does not know its destination yet.

Mine is to be a part of something that will long outlive me. I've always been obsessed with global changes, from butterfly effects to innovation. If you lived in my house, the evidence would speak for itself: documentaries on robots, a lovingly dog-eared biography of Steve Jobs, folders and folders of new projects and ideas.

The specifics can come later. One card drawn at a time.

As for destinations ... well, I plan to set aside some time for myself, to really think about it in depth. I will play my cards right, and I'll just choose. We can just choose. And it won't be the end of ambition, it'll be the growth of it, the sharpening of it, until the whetstone renders our lives purposeful.



  1. I FEEL THIS SO MUCH. I mean, I've settled into what I want to do, because uni forces you to do that, but it was hard. I'm thrilled to be studying what I will be, but I also want to study everything else as well. The amount of things we will never be able to know is overwhelming.

    1. University is around the corner for me. :( I think I've picked by now what I want to do, which is a relief. I'm glad you were able to settle on a field (uni was a great motivator, I bet). I agree with you there - I wish we could live multiple lives for that very reason!

  2. Hey! I can't really relate, BUT YOUR PAINTINGS ARE AMAZING! I'm a bit a dreamer too, I need to get back to working hard but it feeling like it's nothing. If you get what I mean.

    1. Thanks! They're actually photographs of graffiti in a city I visited. :') I understand what you mean for sure.

  3. Gahhh, I totally feel this. I am notorious for changing my mind every other second, so this does not bode well with me for figuring out a future. But I love creative things -- anything to do with writing, publishing, and all things bookish. So I'll keep going that direction and hopefully figure it out eventually.

    We got this. <3

    katie grace
    a writer's faith

    1. That's me as well! I think that's a great idea - follow your passions, and everything else will follow, right? We got this. :)

  4. This resonated with me so hard, you can't even imagine. This post has really inspired me to follow one of the few, constant passions in my life. Thank you <3

  5. I especially loved what you said about the MBTI personality types. No labels can possibly ever define us completely because we are all unique individuals and can't really be "typed" or fit into a specific box. BASICALLY I WAS NODDING MY HEAD THROUGH THIS WHOLE POST. :') Because RIGHT ON. Specialists are awesome, but I believe that we are all multitalented and some of us might just feel the need to move onto something different after a period of time doing one thing. This is totally beautiful! BECAUSE EXPLORATION. <3

    I LOVE THIS POST BASICALLY. Thank you for sharing it. :)


    1. :') THANKS. Yeah, I definitely agree with that. We tend to think of the future as one path, but it seems to be more like hundreds of paths at any given point in time.

      Thank you for reading! <3

  6. I used to envy people who had one hobby or one ambition. It sounds so simple. Obviously, they know what they're going to do with their life. And they don't have to deal with the guilt of not working on one project/goal because they're working on another instead. But then that seems like it would be boring to be obsessed with only one thing. A little one-tracked. And I never thought of it before, but you're right. They still have the same choices to face. Do they choose the everyday or take the risk to chase after what they want? It's not really simpler after all.

    I think it's kinda strange that we always think that we must choose to do and be one thing in life. In fact, it seems that we're actually taught to think like this and to face life-choices in this manner. But the truth is that life changes. It's so volatile. And we change and grow with it. One day we'll be doing and being one thing and five years from now everything could be different. My clogging instructor was a music teacher, a theatre teacher, an actress, and a videographer. She was in a rock band and she wrote a couple of children's books and some songs. And obviously, she was a clogging teacher too. And at some point, she moved from her native country, New Zealand, to the US and became a US citizen. Whenever I start to think that I have to choice to live one way for the rest of my life (which is hard to come to terms with when there are so many choices out there), I think about her and other people who seem to have a lived a very full life. I want to be like that. Besides it would be boring after awhile to do one thing your whole life and to stick with it all the time. I'd feel stuck. I want to try a little everything. Learn everything. Have fun. I've never quite understood the people who want to live and die in the same town doing the same thing all their lives. Stability is nice, yeah. But what about exploration? Not that I'm great at risk-taking. But I'm going to give it a try.

    It's awesome that you're taking some time out for all this! I think that's awesome and it makes finally fulfilling your decisions more worthwhile. Because you know that've you really want to do this.

    Awesome post!

    1. Yeah, I used to envy them, too. Then I realised that sometimes that path is harder, because there can be more competition. I'm thinking dancers and athletes.

      I think maybe society exaggerates the permanance of your chosen field of study. And maybe that's a practical thing to do, but sooner or later we all have to know that other options are out there, don't you think? Wow, your clogging instrucor sounds like a busy person. Being busy always seems to lead to either a great sense of accomplishment or a complete lack of accomplishment, and I'm glad your instructor is the latter. :) What a small world we would live in if we walked down one path. I'm with you - exploration is worth the risk. Sometimes we have to step out of our comfort zones, like staying in the same town, as you mentioend.

      I think it will be the start of something truly great!

      Awesome comment. :') Seriously, thanks.